Good Hair? Good Grief!

Chris Rock's new movie drew a lot of conclusions about black women that just are not true for soooo many of us. The absurdity of Rev. Sharpton criticizing black women for having weaves and perms and men having to pay for them is crazy when he has been putting the "creamy crack" on his hair for decades. If my honey wants to treat me to a trip to the wig store or the hair salon, what's the problem?

These women whose men can't touch their hair during lovemaking are not in real intimate relationships (my opinion) or they want to keep some sort of ridiculous illusion that perpetuate stereotypes that black women are uptight sexually. I know many women (I especially do in my business as an Image Consultant and Women's Ministry Leader for over 1,000 women) who if bold enough to sit in a chair for hours to have it done, or walk into a store and take the time to pick out a wig, don't have any problem with the men they are dating or married to knowing it, touching it, etc.

I have worn wigs and weaves on and off for twenty-five years; exclusively for the last nine. Why? It works for my lifestyle. When you have a wig or weave, swimming, steaming, working out (all those things that Andre Harrell spoke of in the movie) are possible with no hassles. The purpose for me is to be stylish and not have my husband waiting 2 hours after we leave the beach for me to do my hair in order to go to dinner. Although many of the changes we go through seem off the wall, my white friends are no less picky about their hair just maybe in different ways.

As a point of fact, white women were weaving way before it was openly marketed to the black community. Jose Eber, stylist to the stars for over 35 years, has been clipping tracks in his white clients' hair since at least 1976. My white friends marvel at how my own thick, kinky hair holds curls, doesn't need to be washed everyday because of oily buildup. Is the creamy crack that my white sisters use to keep a body wave or curl in theirs, any less harmful than what we use to straighten ours? My white friends and coworkers trip about their hair too, are constantly touching and swinging it, many like a "tick", as if it's some involuntary act. C'mon girls, you know its true. Y'all obsess over the streaks that aren't just in the right places or the curl being too tight. This is not a few, it is a lot. Give me a break Chris! Truth is we're all trippin' about something.

And those idiots in the barber shop! (sorry, I couldn't help myself) What the heck? Bragging about the freedom of sleeping with a white girl because you can touch her hair? What? First of all, could you have interviewed some brothers who spoke real English and not strictly Ebonics? And to add some validity, how about some brothers that we could believe are sleeping with anybody!

I was disappointed that the message of healthy hair, albeit natural, permed, weave, braids or wig, that we feel good about is "good hair". The fact that the opinions of a few limited, shallow or insecure women and some men from the bizarre planet "Clueless" were chosen to speak for the masses, has completely missed the mark. I hosted two sets of friends for this flick and honestly, would love to have Chris Rock write me a refund check with a bonus for sitting through it twice!

I want your opinions ladies, on the movie or how you feel about your hair, comment on my review, whatever. Let it all out, this is the place!

Smooches,

Vanessa